Draft submission on the Wonthagghi Desal plant

You bastards!

We know, and we know you know, that we don't need your energy guzzling, sea life destroying, coastline despoiling, mega-priced industrial nightmare to secure our water supply. After two years of reasonable rainfall, it will be a white elephant, a carbunkle of cost on every household's water bill. It will be called "Brumby's folly" and will likely have you back on the opposition benches for a generation. Surely you cannot be so blind that you cannot see.

Just in case drought is the permanent new reality, here's what we should be doing:Water efficiency; water tanks; water recycling; grey water capture; storm water capture (you know, I presume, that more water drops on Melbourne than we use, even in drought years).

That will do it, problem sorted.

If, however, you really want water coming out of your ears:

Pipe it from Tassie; pipe it from the Kimberley; pipe it from Mars (where it's just been found); tow icebergs up from the Southern Ocean; drink Baldrick's urine; anything but the desal plant, you brainless, heartless, vandals.

So, here's me; grumbling leftie.

You never cared if I flirted with the minor parties because you knew I was rusted on to preference you above the Libs. Well no longer, this is the last straw. Next time Ted the Toff gets my nod on preferences, including in the Upper House where my vote actually counts. I doubt they'll be better, but can't see how they could be worse. Still, it's a sad day...

You bastards! Making me vote Liberal.