Blues saying "We are the black & red"

Boarking's back with a footy post!

In celebration of Carlton fans wanting an Essendon win this weekend even more than the 'Dons fans do, Boarking Songwriting Services has been re-writing footy theme songs so that all fans can sing from the same song sheet.

(For those not aware of the finals permutations: a Bombers win in Perth would be nice, but not necessary for stitching up a spot in the top eight for us, however, a loss by West Coast is pretty much crucial for Blues to cling on to a top four spot. It hurts all Blues fans [included in their number is my better half, Esmeralda*] that they'll be barracking hard for the Dons but barrack they will!)

So here we go:

See the bombers fly up, up
To help win Carlton the flag
Our boys who play this grand old game,
Striving for the Blues glory and fame!
See the Bombers fly up, up,
To help the Blues to the four,
Carlton try their best,
But they won't get near,
Unless the Bombers fly up!


*Clearly not "better" in her choice of footy team

Tipping with washing lines

Your head says tip Geelong.

But when I was taking in the washing at the weekend, I came to a point where what was left on the line were three vests: one red, one white & one black. It seems to me an omen from the footy gods, who've I've had dealings with before, so you best tip the Saints.

Collywobblin'

I warned all my Collingwood Pie friends (I confess I do have some) not to watch the Preliminary Final. I'm sure they regret ignoring the man in the know, Ernest U.

Followers of the game knew it was going to go pear shape when the coach tried to play mind games, always the last refuge of the desperate.

Boarking's great Carlton tanking theory

Forget all this talk about Adelaide being really good, Carlton were doing alright until they realised that Essendon, their Nemesis, were going to win and therefore Carlton would have the dubious pleasure of hosting the 'dons in a home final. At that point, Carlton stopped, "tanked" in the preferred vernacular, prepared to gamble on losing a home final just to avoid the Bombers...

You soft blue bastards... now you'll go to Brisbane, we'll go to Adelaide... and we'll all lose!

How good is footy?

Here's a question I'm often asked:
"Ernst, How good is footy?"
Last night, tired & emotional at the 'G, I had an answer:
"Not that good!"
One shocking quarter and big team wide dose of the kicking yips did all the damage.
I found some consolations:
*The Dons are young and the lesson will do us good
*The Pies are actually pretty good, so not too much shame in losing
*Didak is in my fantasy footy team,
But still it hurt (though not as much as ANZAC Day hurt your pie fan!)

christian bombers & lion hawks

We're off to the Colosseum tonight to see the Christians take on the lions. I'm cheering on the Christians, but I'm not tipping them.

Actually, I'm going to the footy, as you might have guessed. I was using metaphor. But it's true that the bookies are paying similar odd on Essendon as they used to pay on the Christians (probably), so the metaphor would appear apt.

It's not impossible that Essendon will win, just as it's not impossible that Boarking will win the lottery.

I'm going to the game in the spirit that Melbourne supporters go every week, and I will enjoy it!

Those footy gods, again...

There is no other explanation for Fev's post-er.

Sometimes there is a little magic even in just listening to footy: Fevola marks 15 out, 45 angle. It's all over, Carlton have done what Essendon did a week before. The commentators go quiet as he takes the kick, leaving the listener with the crowd... We hear the roar waxing, but it falters then wanes, the crowd like one wounded, bewildered animal. We know something is amiss, but what?

The footy gods have struck.

Frolicking with the footy gods

I don't believe in God, the one who loves me and has a personal plan for my salvation, but is quite happy to send me to eternal damnation if my reason (given by Him) leads me to conclude that He doesn't exist.

I'll believe in the footy gods though; they love no-one but the game, they are as capricious as the bounce of the Sherrin. They love the great spectacle, but understand that it must be given sparingly. I give praise that they bestowed a spectacle yesterday, and wore a red & black scarf whilst they did so!

They slew Hille in the opening minutes then steeled Ryder with the spirit that the day is about, to step in for a fallen comrade. They slighted Rocca, then took the dream of a boy called Zakaharis and made it true.

All to the good, but a small god took the time to play a little trick on Boarking, who thought himself 5 out of 5, after tipping all yesterday's upsets, who thought himself on for 8, a collection of the work comps' $250 jackpot, and the kudos of tipping 8 when few can. But the little god has messed with his tips, or else he forgot to save his changes, and finds he hadn't tipped the tiggers after all. Amid much gnashing of teeth, there was a powerfull whiff of deja vu.
Oh well...

Some bemoan the mixing of footy with the ANZAC sacrifice, and the depiction of players antics with the terminolgy applicable to real soldiers in real wars. I don't mind. Football and other team sports were founded in the English public school system as a preparation for war. I, for one, am quite happy when sport becomes a replacement for war.

Don't pay out before correct weight

It seems a long time ago now.
Round one and one of those nasty Collingwood types down the pub goaded me into accepting a $20 wager on whether Pies or Dons would finish atop the home&away ladder. The Dons had started brightly but little was expected of them whilst much was expected in Pie-land.
----
At around round eleven the season was going to plot and then some; the Pies were on fire, polishing off the mighty Cats by a 14 goal margin before following up with a shellacking of the Eagles; the Dons, meanwhile, had lost 8 on the trot including beltings by such powerhouses as Richmond, as well as an ANZAC Day to forget (fortunately, due to my alcohol consumption that day I largely had).
Well, I was heartily sick of the subject of this wager by this stage of proceedings and insisted against strong opposition on paying out my twenty in a vain attempt to put the matter to bed.
----
Now it is haunting me.
The Pies are losing games and players, off-field dramas suck their morale and President Eddie has jets of steam exiting his ears. Whilst Essendon are coming home with the wet sail, four point and percentage behind the disintegrating Pies with four games to go.
Back in June you'd have got about 1000/1 with a bookie on our wager, now it is probably at about evens.
----
It is to my eternal shame that I will never get that $20 back, nevermind the $20 I might yet win, at least in an alternate universe where I am a man of faith.
----
What of this weeks tips you ask: Cats & Hawks, of course; Port to upset the Blues; Saints over the Collywobbles; Swans over Freo possibly; North over the Dogs (who are in September mode); Crows & Dons to finish off.

18 tips

All the home teams, therefore two upsets: Collingwood & North.

I have an irrational feeling about the former and cannot figure why the latter could be an upset.

Lunacy & footy tipping

I better take a break from politics or I'll blow a gasket.

Back to footy, it is, where the Boarkinger is throwing out the rule book. There's no point in finishing the tipping in 20th place, therefore it's time to fly high or crash and burn in the process. We're going on gut feeling and half-hunches, we're tipping away teams and avoiding favourites.

We're tipping: pies, doggies (over cats at the cattery!), bombers, lions, hawks, carlton, port & freo.

We Trust that God is With Us.

Turning into the home straight...

Still recovering from Sunday's horror. I've barely had a wink of sleep since.
Now as the Council tipping comp turns for home at round 15, I find myself a bit off the pace, cracking the whip with fury.
In this somewhat strained analogy, "cracking the whip" means tipping underdogs. The best u-dog to be tipping of late, is my Dons who are coming good. The Bombers have had a decent run of late at the 'Dome against Brisbane. 2001 was a long time ago.
Lots of close games this week according to the bookies. I'm going for the home teams apart from the Tigers. They've got form at Subiaco and can continue the Eagles losing streak, I hope.
My apologies to Blues fans: my tipping against the Saints will likely ensure they win.
STOP PRESS: Just heard on the radio that Richo is out. Maybe I should go all home teams?
Oooh, indecision creeping in.

Late tipping news

The hypothetical reader was shocked at the failure of this blog to get in the tips before last weekend. What could be distracting Ernst? Not romance, surely?

The weekend proved challenging for the tipper, the three out of six on the Boarking sheet, assisted by the Dons getting over the line in Subiaco, looks pretty reasonable. I missed out on Carlton and kicking myself on it; I’d never have tipped Richmond if I’d known about all the centenary hype surrounding their game, you just know they muck up games like that. Can’t work out the saints, my tips suffer accordingly. Like everyone, I missed Melbourne.

This weekend I’m fairly confident on Geelong and going for the Pies over Swans. The Swans are rightfully favourites, however:
Pies have excellent record in Sydney,
They’ve a few good Ins,
Their form is not as bad as recent results might suggest,
They need the win more.
It’s painful, but I must barrack for Collingwood this weekend… urgh!

Lucky rd. 13 (and use of semi-colons)

I keep having good ideas for writing decent blog posts but never manage to finish them lately; so it's back to the footy where even I'm losing interest after a disatrous last round of 4 miserable ticks. Now, suddenly six off the pace at work, I find myself looking for the upset each round to play myself back into contention. This week is easy, the upset is my nice bombers.

(Did you notice that semi-colon in the first sentence? Neat, huh? I got complimented this week for my use of a semi-colon in an email; it's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, but now I'm a bit scared to use them in case I muck it up. No point in being timid, I guess)

FREO are back, especially against the SAINTS
HAWKS, PORT, DOGGIES and SWANNIES, no worries
LIONS over CROWS, but bit worried
DONS to do to BLUES what Blues did to Pies.

ate a dozen

The Boarking readership is plummeting but I'm determined to persevere, especially tonight, where I'm tipping my Dons for the 1st time since rd.3.

In other news, for this juicy round: North over Freo, Doggies over Lions, Crows over Hawks, Swans over Saints, Cats over Port, Pies over Blues, and for their 2nd win of the season; Dees over Tigers who are giving indications of losing the plot.

It's good to have a round, where there are a few games to think about, rather than going with all the faves.

Footy 11

Was looking okayish for 8 at 3/4 time on Sunday evening last week, but bloody, bloody Freo, what a shower of's...

Hard to tip against the faves this week, to wit: NORTH, CROWS, HAWKS, SWANS, LIONS, DOGS, PORT, PIES.

If I was tempted to go for an upset, it'd be the SAINTS, a possibility, especially with the outrageous suspension of in-form doggie Murphy.

Also, I've this vaguely good vibe about my Dons (up against the Hawks), it's probably just heart ruling head.

Eight out of ten ‘aint bad…

Here’s my 8 for 10:
CROWS over DONS, Scotties back but it’s not likely to save us, alas.
Hot PIES
DOGGIES to upset HAWKS, going on an uneasy gut feeling here.
LIONS, CATS, SWANS, SAINTS & FREO to round it off.

aflate

Apologies to my imaginary reader who awaits the Boarking tips b4 putting in their own. Though it might not do you much harm... I'm watching CATS vs PIES on tele and the pies are three big ones up. Like most, I'm going for geelong.

For the rest, FREO over BLUES, the dockers can't keep chucking games in the last qtr.
SYD over PORT, though would be more confident if it was in sydney.
CROWS over WCE, obviously.
TIGERS over my BOMBERS who seem to have given up.
LIONS over SAINTS, no worries.
DEES are paying $11, could be worth a $1 bet at the bookies, but we tip the lucky bastid HAWKS in this rd.1 rematch.
DOGS over ROOS, not massively confident.

I've got the footytips.com.au page up as I type, showing Geelong paying $8. This is either an error, or I've done my tipping dough tonight, bearing in mind I'm watching an hour behind...

Bugger!

afl8

Club footy is back and the Boarking tipping machine is right on it. Only going for one upset this round, and that's tonight, the team I can't tip gets my tip of death: SAINTS over PIES. The Saints have some serious outs but a couple of alright ins too. It's nice to tip against the Pies even when it's not sensible.

For the rest we go with the bookies:
CATS over Tigers. I'm going to this game and I'll support the underdogs who will be alright, but I won't tip'em.
LIONS
HAWKS
NORTH
CROWS
SYDNEY. Rd8 and my mighty DONS are already "playing youngsters" and presumably thinking of draft picks. I won't be tipping them much for the rest of this season.
DOGGIES.

Go lock'em in!

afl 7 roundup

What's wrong with the universe? AFL timekeepers, which might explain my continuing Saints tipping hoodoo for this week.
As for the other fail: you could tip Melbourne? In fact, my brother BoarkingJnr did... he thought "they were due". He is a prescient fool!