Blog sans reader

Hello and welcome to Ernst U. Boarking's blog about stuff & stuff-all.
Warning: Some material in the blog may not be suitable.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Excerpt from a letter to a friend

Here's an excerpt from an email to a friend in England:

"Yes, it is hot, very. I was ringing you about 2am, unable to sleep due to the heat.  I was sat in the backyard and it was still over 30degrees.  This is a glimpse of the future, so we (in Australia) better get used to it.  In a decade or so we'll probably get heatwaves like this every year and some years we'll get three or four.

I lay awake getting really angry at all the "skeptics", maverick scientists, fossil fuel execs, right wing pundits, assorted pollies and the selfish idiots, readily seduced by their half truths, distortions and lies, who vote for them.  At least 25 years ago the science was strong enough to suggest that governments should start to take prudent measures, instead we've had nothing except a whole lot of not much at all.

And now in Australia, denial is government policy.

Golly gosh, I'm off on a rant!   Anyway, hope all those bastards are happy, we're reaping what they've sowed."

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

On the Angry Summer

A broken weather record doesn't necessarily mean climate change, and records can get broken for many reasons; however if climate change was not involved you'd have as many cold records being set as hot ones, on average.

That's not the way it is. 

I'd hate to be considered an alarmist, and the first thing I'd say to a denialist is "I hope you're right", but it seems to me it's well time:
to pull our heads out of the sand,
our fingers out of our a*ses,
and try to turn down the experiment we're running on the only planet we've currently got to live on...

How to kill someone for free...

1. Go to Florida

2. Buy a gun

3. Goad your victim into throwing a punch at you

4. "Stand your ground" and blow your victim to bits

5. Walk away scot-free

Note, for best results at point 5, ensure your victim has darker coloured skin than you.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Bloody frustrating...

It's so frustrating listening to Red Cross on the radio complaining about their shortage of donors, when hey stop thousands of us from donating because we lived in the United Kingdom for six months during the period 1980-1996.

Where do the British get their bloody donations from?

Friday, November 16, 2012

A decent cuppa

Being of a somewhat sensitive nature, I die a little inside each time I see someone destroying tea: the workmate adding milk to their cup before adding the not-quite-boiliing-for-OHS-reasons water and the ubiquitous yellow enveloped teabag that is defeated before it starts; the inner-city cafes that import Italian barristas to work vast espresso machines like demented church organs, they offer coffee beans excreted by mongooses, but serve their tea in a bag undunked next to a pot of unsuitably cooling water; and the fast-food “restaurants”, well don't get me started.

Therefore it gives me the utmost pleasure to advise on the correct preparation of tea:


A good loose black tea*

(*you don't need to go overboard, but the cheap stuff is generally of dubious providence and it's taste will betray it, on the otherhand, some things at the top end from fancy stores seem designed to extract many dollars for middle class vanity. I find Dilmah a suitable compromise, though doubtless there are many others.
It must be black tea. Green tea, not to my taste, is still tea I grant you, but it is not the subject of this treatise. I shudder to hear of herbal concotions and fruit infusions described as tea, these serve only to pollute decent water, even if their dubious medical benefits were proven I'd rather suffer the malady they might cure)

You will need a kettle, a tea pot, cup(s), a strainer, potable water.


Add sufficient water to fill as many cups or mugs as required plus a little more to the kettle and apply a source of heat.
As the water approaches boiling take a little to the pot to rinse it out and provide some pre-warming. Empty the pot.
Add tea. The classic one teaspoon per person and one for the pot is about spot on. With a decent tea, the spoons can be low rounded rather than heaped and if you don't wish for hairs on your chest you may forgo the one for the pot.
Pour boiling water into the pot over the leaves. Yes, boiling. Pour it whilst bubbling, in the one movement whilst you turn off the heat. No delay, no dilly-dally, get it on right away. If the water is not boiling, you are not making tea, merely an unfortunate infusion.
Leave to stand, weaker—shorter, stronger—longer. About five minutes will surfice for most.
Serve into the cups.
Though purists will argue otherwise, I believe it acceptable to add sugar and even a little milk, to taste. Some might even add lemon.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Dear Greens Senators,

As a Greens supporter, I implore you to pass the legislation in the Senate today.

It is flawed legislation, but the impasse is worse. Sometimes politics demands compromise, sometimes it's distasteful.

If you continue to side with Abbott and his crocodile tear shedding colleagues, can you really say you are better than them?

You are certainly enabling them in driving more nails in the coffin of the government's electoral chances. After the next election and the subsequent double dissolution giving Abbott both houses; where will refugee policy be then?

Of course, once we are out of power, the moral high ground will once again be easy to secure!


Ernst U.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Blues saying "We are the black & red"

Boarking's back with a footy post!

In celebration of Carlton fans wanting an Essendon win this weekend even more than the 'Dons fans do, Boarking Songwriting Services has been re-writing footy theme songs so that all fans can sing from the same song sheet.

(For those not aware of the finals permutations: a Bombers win in Perth would be nice, but not necessary for stitching up a spot in the top eight for us, however, a loss by West Coast is pretty much crucial for Blues to cling on to a top four spot. It hurts all Blues fans [included in their number is my better half, Esmeralda*] that they'll be barracking hard for the Dons but barrack they will!)

So here we go:

See the bombers fly up, up
To help win Carlton the flag
Our boys who play this grand old game,
Striving for the Blues glory and fame!
See the Bombers fly up, up,
To help the Blues to the four,
Carlton try their best,
But they won't get near,
Unless the Bombers fly up!

*Clearly not "better" in her choice of footy team