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Hello and welcome to Ernst U. Boarking's blog about stuff & stuff-all.
Warning: Some material in the blog may not be suitable.



Thursday, August 19, 2010

Boarking says Vote Green

That's all you need to know.

Actually, now I think about it, I quite like the Secular Party, because I'd quite like to have secularism; and I quite like the Sex Party, because I'd quite like to have sex.

So feel free to vote for them.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Pope Boarking!

I've always wanted to start my own religion for the same reason as most people: to amass power & wealth. I've just been waiting for a decent theology to come together and here goes...

A passing thought that Pauli the Oracle Octopus has what could be described as noodly appendages was, I quickly realised, a direct revelation from the Flying Spaghetti Monster who has spoken through me, Ernst U. Boarking, to announce to all that Pauli is his son, sent to earth to miraculously take cash off bookies the world over.

The Father (chatting to Boarking whilst the latter nude sun bathes)

Footy precognition is Pauli's proof of divinity and broadcast to the world, should get my new Paulianity off to a flyer. Just so long as his tip for the final, Spain, gets up tonight. If they don't, the whole things probably a non-starter.

The Son (tipping Spain again)

Anyhow, with Pauli being an acquatic type, it has been decreed that the priests shall wear speedos and the nuns, no strike that, we'll make them priestesses -- this won't be a misogynist type religion, the priestesses will wear bikinis. I'm recruiting now...

Monday, June 7, 2010

Garota de Lalomanu

I write this in Melbourne, in winter, but 30 hours ago I was on one of the world's finest beaches gazing on the white sand, the clear warm waters, surf on the reef, lush green island offshore. And, not least, onshore a bevy of beautiful bikini clad backpackers continually distracting the easily distracted such as myself. All this I was about to tear myself away from, to motorcyle back to the town, to fly to the cold and the clothed.



I'm a sucker for the bossa nova song, "The Girl from Ipanema". The original Portuguese lyrics by Vinicius de Moraes ("Garota de Ipanema") are much deeper than the English version, and they hint that beauty can bring sadness, as well as joy.

Later he wrote of the girl, "the sight of whom is also sad, in that she carries with her, on her route to the sea, the feeling of youth that fades, of the beauty that is not ours alone — it is a gift of life in its beautiful and melancholic constant ebb and flow."

What had flowed was about to ebb for me, I gazed and loved, and embraced the sadness.

The Garota de Lalomanu was undoubtedly S. a lovely Dutch girl: Tall (oh, about 6'3") and Tan (of course, she is in the tropics) and Young (only 20, half my age and a bit less) and Lovely (a lovely nature too; I smile and she does see, she smiles at me!)

As I type this in my winter, I still love a bit this Garota de Lalomanu, I suspect I'm not alone.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Bad poetry corner

The following is based on a true story, and contains a made-up word, like any good-bad poem should:

Emily, X-Ray technician
------------------------

Oh, Emily, Emily, Emily,
You make my heart all tremor-ly.

Your machine took a picture of my teeth,
For the erudition of my dentist, Keith.

You bid me to stay quite still,
But my heart did what it will,

That is to say, it was tremor-ly,
For an X-ray tech called Emily.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Flexi-Revolutions

I've decided to share some of my rare vinyl with the world, reliving the Eighties when I was young & enthusiasm flowed through me. And why not, it feels like a new decade although the purists have a strong but dismal arguement that the new decade starts next new year, a nostalgia hobby is good.

Let's concentrate on the good old flexidiscs, because though there are many a song clip on Youtube there are fewer of these. First up Kvatch001, featuring the still beautiful after all these years Clingfilm by the Sea Urchins. I've used all the power of Windows Movie Maker to provide the visuals, so please feast your eyes & ears.

First in a series of hundreds, if I can be bothered: