Blog sans reader

Hello and welcome to Ernst U. Boarking's blog about stuff & stuff-all.
Warning: Some material in the blog may not be suitable.



Saturday, December 22, 2007

Merry Boarkingmass



If God is Santa for grown-ups, then who will be Santa for God? Boarking is happy to play God's Santa. God didn't get any presents the last couple of years because he was a very naughty god, what with the tsunami (on Boxing Day no less) then that earthquake in Pakistan. But this year he's been fairly good, delivering Australia from political evil, and making it rain a bit, so we'll be readying ourselves at Boarking Mansions for the sleigh ride to heaven... it's back on!

Charlie MacMackie has got him a rather fetching tie from David Jones, and I'm thing a nice single malt might not go amiss.

In the meatime, here's a couple of cut out and keep cards for the rest of you.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Ernst U. Boarking Appreciation Society

I have to admit, I'm very flattered that some top bloke has started an "Ernst U. Boarking Appreciation Society" on facebook. Perhaps you should join, if you are into that sort of thing.

It's better that than listening to Ep.3 of the unpopular Classic Joke Archive, which is now available.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Classic Joke Archive, ep. 2: Railway Station

Ernst & Charles tackle the old "How far is it to the railway station?" classic.

Technical note: This joke requires Charlie to say the word "one" roughly. It was difficult for an untrained actor to vary the voice though, and Audacity didn't seem to offer a distortion effect. So, when you hear "one" hear it spoken roughly.

This may cause you to think that Charles is a figment of Ernst's imagination. I cannot comment.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Classic Joke Archive is here!

audio podcast
Listen to episode 1 now.
It's called "Jamaica"
Ernst & Charles retell the "My wife's going to Jamaica" classic joke.
Excellent!

#21.1 Indiepop Radio Podcast

Okay, changed to a less security restricted computer and got some podcast action.

So, the Indiepop Radio Podcast is in my bloglines, and really in my bloodlines too. Many years ago I had an indiepop show (Reasons to be cheerfull) on community radio, 3PBS. So, listening to this takes me back.

Indiepop: An '80s offshoot of new wave for shy and socially inept teenagers with a DIY ethic. There's nothing new in Emo!

#23 And now the end is near (do I win a computer?)

Congratulations to Ernst U. Boarking, librarian, on completing the Learning2.0 course.

We asked Ernst these questions:

What were your favorite discoveries or exercises on this learning journey?
EUB: I have always been shy & awkward in social settings, but I have surprised myself by embracing Youtube, like the young folk, to push the importance of libraries, librarianship & lifelong learning, all things that are very dear to me.

How has this program assisted or affected your lifelong learning goals?
EUB:I have learnt a lot about what's out there in 2.0, not sure how much of it I'll use though. There were a few things that really I just didn't get the point.

Were there any take-aways or unexpected outcomes from this program that surprised you?
EUB: I'm a little surprised that it's ended up with me pictured out in the WWW wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt and old pair of speedos.

What could we do differently to improve upon this program’s format or concept?
EUB: Aside from our technical hitches, your program is very good, a fine way to learn. We still have some way to go in getting IT security types to embrace the web2.0. Thank you for running the show.

Thank you Ernst, for completing it.
EUB: Err, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go for coffee sometime?

I'm sorry, Ernst, I'm washing my hair at that time.
EUB: I didn't mention a time.

Please understand, whatever time it is, I will be washing my hair.
EUB: Ok, well goodbye then.

Goodbye.

#22 Audiobooks on E

"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea..."

Nice to listen to such lovely words from an old opium-eater whilst I type away.

It's got to be good for public libraries when the technology is widely established enough amongst our patrons to move from hardcopy (CD & tapes-urgh!) to electronic provision of audiobooks. The hardcopies are very expensive, especially considering their circulation, and easy to ruin (one missing disc, one wonky tape).

The eBook still has flaws compared to the original (awkward at the beach, etc.), but the eAudiobook's time has come... Bring it on!

#21 A cast of pods

I'm not that bothered about listening to podcasts. Meandered around the directories... and that's as far as I got, because security restrictions have killed it again. Remember kids... Hume City Council IT Department hates with a passion Web2.0. Sod'em.

Give me a tick though, please, as I have gone the extra yards on this one, creating my own podcast which you can hear about in a later post.

What I can say here is: Audacity love it! It's amazing how much good freeware is available on the 'net, but this must be one of the best. I've used it before in converting my old vinyl to CD & MP3, but this was the first time I'd mixed multiple tracks together and seriously messed with sounds... All too easy! (Unlike battling out IT)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

i am a librarian (the director's cut)

If you have too much time on your hands, go play,



Review: "This director's cut is a self indulgent piece of tripe. The studio's shouldn't let them get away with it. Still, I guess it never did Andy Warhol any harm."

Sunday, November 25, 2007

#20.2 See the movie

Now showing at a Youtube screen near you,

Boarking Cinematic Productions presents
"a librarian"




Rated: M (contains adult themes)
Running time: 19 secs




Now other staff might have finished quicker than the Boar, but how many posted their own specially commisioned movie up to Youtube?






Technorati Tags

#20 Boarking presents...

Coming soon to a Youtube screen near you,

Boarking Cinematic Productions presents...



"Melbourne, Australia, public librarian Ernst U. Boarking explains the joys of being a librarian, expanding lyrically on the satisfaction gained expanding literacy in a disadvantaged community."

Technorati Tags    

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

#19 2.0 award, Google Maps


I'm always a sucker for maps, even been a map cataloguer in another incarnation of the librarian soul.  So I was always going to like Google Maps, complete with the satellite overlay.

 

Check out your house... the image on mine is almost good enough to check to see if any roof tiles need replacing!

 

Load a silly thing about boring through the planet and seeing where you come out.  The Melburnians journey through the center of the earth will pop out in the Atlantic, to the left of the Azores.

 

Even I'm just about sick of the election (and I'm a political junkie), however, if somehow you're not, the Australian version can add lots of election content to your aussie map (also accessible from the Google Election 2007 home page)


Technorati Tags     ,

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Don't let Boarking tell you how to vote...

Work it out for yourself...

Oz Politics have a great little online test that I heartily recommend you have a go at. Here's what they say about it:

"This test will identify which of the major Australian political parties most aligns with your views. It will also tell you where your views lie on the left-right political spectrum.

You will be asked to indicate the extent to which you agree or disagree with a series of 50 statements."

But the best bit is at the end where you can look at how little people's voting intentions align with their views. Going by the results, most of us should be voting for the Democrats or Greens (ie Boarking) or One Nation (ie Statistics Queen)

Take the test here.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Easy feelgood factor...


Unlikely as it seems, this site seems legitimate. It's addictive and gives you the feelgood factor of donating to charity without you having to open your wallet!

I think I've made the image at right an active link. If I haven't go here: www.freerice.com

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

#18 Something good in the brave new world

Here's a quick diatribe, created on

 

 Zoho WriterYour Word Processor on the Web

 

I like this, and like the idea of it.  Maybe we can stop providing Office on our public PC's and get the Unwashed onto this!

 

Personally, I like the idea of creating my blogposts in this more feature rich envornment.  I might add a picture for the fun of it then see if I can get it to work...

 

Aha, a fault!  Can't turn BOLD off, except ny a round-a-bout right clicking route!

 

 

This is a broken diode from my MCs 12v circuit. If you have access to a new one please send to Boarking forthwith.

 

 

Ooh! Very impressed to see you can export (ie save) in OpenOffice format, .sxw as well as .doc

Post to your blog

Being on the web, you can post to your blog from within Zoho Writer. As you have seen above, Zoho Writer's WYSIWYG editor is more feature-rich than a typical blog editor's. Be it Blogger.com, Wordpress.com, Livejornal, Typepad or any blog that supports metaWeblog API, you can make the post from Zoho Writer. You can add tags and make the post optionally as a draft as well!






Technorati Tags     ,

#17 Frustrations

Okay on the 6th attempt, finally attached a working link to the PBWiki, not as instructed (that didn't work) just by buggering around and kicking the computer. Won't write more as the html on the blogspot editor is not displaying properly and I could end up losing this anyway

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Do as I say and I'll give you a kiss...

Three weeks in, we've done some thinking

The Loonies are in the Centre not on the Left

Vote 1: Green or Democrat
(especially in the Senate)
Preference Labor above the Coalition

I could explain all night why this is so
But then I realised it is self-evident

Lesson #16: Boarwiki

I like the Wiki. Always been a big fan of Wikipedia, it's usually the first port of call because it covers so widely. You have to approach it with a little caution, it doesn't yet have a Britannica type guarantee and probably never could, but it covers so many topics that Britannica never will.

In a library context, I liked the Booklover's wiki from Princetown. That could be a nice touch to engage the library community here.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

no more 3rd boar postings

Is Boarking pretentious, always writing in the 3rd person? He's just the bore king not the Queen. And he is me, and I am I, though I'll probably get eye disease now.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Boarking2.0 on Library2.0

Boarking has elements of the old fuddy duddy about him. Fifteen years back he envisioned a career amongst musty tomes, of silence, of whispers, of scholars, of glorious inefficiency.


RIP, my Library1.0 dreaming.


Instead, life out in working-class-battler-surburbia public library1.4, involves problematic technology trouble-shooting, enough teen and pre-teen nutters to make Boarking glad he didn't become a teacher, and more noise, noise, noise, than he ever thought a library was about.

But he tries to be excited about Library2.0beta: interactive library catalogue, no cataloguer, fewer books, more online facilitation, more information, less organisation, everybody everything always.

Very exciting.

Now if I may look into the future... In a century or so, after the droughts and the floods, the ice sheets melting, and the resource wars; library0.01 will be a rare tribal elder who can decipher the word symbols of the Old People. But the tribe won't be listening, too much hunting & gathering to be doing.


Thursday, October 25, 2007

Technorati (step #14)

Add to Technorati Favorites is alright, I suppose.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Swinging Boarking

More election commentary:
Perhaps I was a bit harsh on the Greens. I suggested "loony" but their health policy is the only one that makes sense... Get rid of the bloody subsidised private health and fund decent medicare. When you factor in that global warming is the issue of the century, I guess all must be forgiven.

Unlucky #13... del.icio.us

At Hume, we're pulling our hair out, battling our ridiculously restricted network. I have to warn you Big Sister, anyone here who doesn't have the 'Net at home is not going to be able to complete this course, at least whilst maintaining their sanity.

I've set myself up on del.icio.us but can't add anything until I get home and install the little toolbar thing. Then I'll decide if it's any good.

On tagging: As an old school cataloguer, I have to say these freeform tags give me the sh***! It's the way of the world, though, and my career is for the dinosaurs.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

These must get me a pass on level #10, surely?


Courtesy of imagechef

#12 -- rollyo

Rollyo, create your favourite searches, or something. Not sure I really get the point, but did the hard yards anyway...


I even created a new searchroll that might be useful, a bit, for the election. In the interest of balance I even included the Libs and Nats, though they are all a shower of sodpots and you should ignore them.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Voting guidelines

How will you vote on Nov24?
il-Liberal (Please leave this blog now)
Labor (Fair enough, but consider giving your 1st preference to a minor party just to keep them on their toes)
Greens (Your heart's in the right place... but is your head?)
Democrats (You'll miss them when they're gone... The advantage of voting for these guys is to say (after it's all gone pear shaped) "Don't blame me, I voted Democrat")
Family First (Boarking last)
Other (Warning, you are probably voting for a nutter)

Boarking07


Just come on the radio that Little Johnny is off to see the Guv and get his death warrant signed. Remember, voting is compulsory, especially in the seat of Boarking, so please be sure to complete the poll on your left.

So, as my Granny would say, "Vote early, vote often!"

Get the teeshirt @ boarking07.com.au

Friday, October 12, 2007

Boarking presents...

Boarking can't say much about it, but after a feverish night of artistic imaginings, he now has a working title for his Youtube production that should complete this experiment. Here it is:

"Guantanamo #3046 : man with Man.Utd underpants pours small glass of beer over his head"

You'll love it!

Another go with the bookshelf

Ok, so we are up on the LibraryThing book cataloguing site. Still shuffling around it but quite liked the attached html widget that shows random works in Boarking's catalogue. Nice!



In case you think this boar rude, he claims that he didn't actually buy the "Playboy" book. Embarrassingly, his library service did, and quickly came to the conclusion that it might be less than suitable material. Not that we'd censor or anything. To save further blushes and red faces amongst the lady staff, it was quietly decreed that Boarking would put the offending item in his pigbag and whisk it away. It is now a part of the Boarking collection that offers some comfort on lonely nights.

What's on the Boarking bookshelf?

Try looking on LibraryThing:

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Bloglining leaves me flatlining (lesson #8)

Oh, the palava...

After days of battling blogger (which seems to have had a couple of bad days for crashing & "error on page" messages) and trying to follow bloglines tutorials that are clearly out of date...

Trial & error gets Boarking his own RSS feed.

Is it worth it?

Probably no,

apart from Dilbert

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Crap blogger

Testing if post will work when html is buggered

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Womble of Hadfield

"Give me a child at seven and I'll give you the man" so said the Jesuits. At seven, Boarking was given to the Wombles of Wimbledon.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Appropriate technology (lesson#7)




Here's a little bit about technology of the old fashioned kind. Simple stuff using found objects (plastic bottles, old washing machine tubing, old fermenter, etc.) to channel rainwater (oh so precious in SE Australia) into my near empty ponds.






This is what will save the world (if it works)






Monday, September 24, 2007

FlickrFun (lesson no.5)






Pictures speak louder...

Warholised <

Pig Pass ^



Thursday, September 20, 2007

Seven & a half habits of a boar

2.0 learning starts with your 7&1/2 habits of lifelong learners most of which were a bit too obvious to remember, but go here if you need more info than your likely to get from me. The podcasts are in American, I'm afraid, much as I love our big cousins, it is a bit... oh, you know.

I do remember something about helping others so I've been prodding along a couple of my "special" friends here at the library in the Art of Blogging. Best trotter forward, and all that. I'll collect a deserved slap or two for that "special" comment, but only if the "specials" figure out how to read this, I might be safe.

And the half bit was about having fun, so I'll have a go, though Misery I find suits me better.

I think no. 1 was setting a goal for this, such as doing a podcast. This might be a go. I think maybe an archive of some of the brilliant jokes lodged in obscure folds of my grey matter, that this modern fast-paced world and the Young People of Today are in danger of losing forever. Where would the world be without:

"My dog has no nose"
"How does it smell?"
"Terrible"

"My wife's going to the West Indies"
"Jamaica?"
"No she wants to go"

I've got more, but "How far to the railway station?" and "They still don't fit" really have to wait for the podcast.

In the meantime, 7 or so habits of an ineffective boar:
Procrastination
Confusion
Delusion
Rage against inanimate objects
Rage against governments
Despair
Disorganisation / messiness
Solace through beer
Enlightenment through single malt scotch.
Is that seven? Are these habits or merely states of mind?

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Boring Boarking, a librarian...

This blog commences as part of a Web 2.0 course for librarians. If you've stumbled on it by accident you may wish to nick off quick smart, it could be contagious.

I was going to call it BoringLibrarian, but what if the blog outlives my career as a librarian? Boring was bound to have been taken, but fortunately mutated into BoarKing. I'm not a king or a boar, but blogger "Thisdonkey" is not actually a donkey, hard to believe, though he looks a bit like one and can be as stubborn.



I need to find a picture of a king for my profile, then photoshop in a couple of tusks. It'll be so funny, probably.



I seem to remember that some cannibals in days gone by would refer to other humans (the ones in the pot) as "Long pig", so perhaps we are all a bit boar-ish at the taste test level... I wonder if my flesh would make good crackling if I rubbed it with vege oil and salt before roasting? I'll try it next time I'm roasting one of my limbs and I'll let you know.