headhurts

Ooh, me'ead...

The NY Less alcohol resolution has suffered a long weekend hammering with barely a let up from Friday lunch to the early hours of this morning.

However, in a spirit of keeping positives, I can at least hold my head up and state that amidst all the adventures in the wee hours there was no loss of either coherence, motor function or memory. All three collapsed back on NYE, and it's this that we fear most, and most wish to avoid.

So coherent was I in a 4am cab ride this morning, after six hours of putting myself outside of a number of mountain goats (the beer variety, rather than the animal) that I conversed with the Somali cab driver about the dire situation of things in East Africa, whilst we listened to the World Service on News Radio. We reflected that we're pretty lucky to live in a stable democracy where prime ministers go graciously, exit stage right when the people say so.

The ride started on a sour note though when my saying that I was going to Glenroy prompts the driver to demand to see the colour of my money before seeing fit to proceed. The initial impulse is to get riled, but when you think of what your average poor driver has to put up with you think perhaps it's fair enough.

I've decided to say no more on the more nookie front. It seems to me that a gentlemen does not comment on such thing, and Boarking has decided he probably shouldn't either. Perhaps, there's nothing much to report anyway. Perhaps both scenarios hold true.

Anything big, in the future, such as pregnancies created or marriages participated in, might get a mention.

A mate, let's call him Bert, on my querying his spending a $100 to attend The Police concert, suggested that I was so parsimonious that I'd not spend $100 on my own wedding. He has a point, your Boarking can be as tight as a gnat's chuff when the mood takes him.

It might be an idea, in the spirit of self improvement, to work a little on a spirit of generosity, as much with myself as anyone. To give more than you receive.

A third resolution, indeed.

Not a bad idea, though I'd still not give a green note to see a band 30 years past their peak!

Technorati Tags alcohol,resolutions,new-years,nookie,taxi

Whale wailing

The regular reader (a hypothetical beast, probably existing only in my imagination) would probably be leaning towards the opinion that I’m a raving ratbag greenie leftie. However your typical Ernst U. Boarking is a complex beast, so it’s likely time we throw in a post from right field:

You are a hypocrite!

Okay, you might not be a hypocrite, but if you are a typical Aussie getting your knickers in a twist over Japanese whaling whilst chomping through your body weight in various bits of animal carcass every few months, you might at least consider the possibility.

Environmentalist and Aussie of the Year '07, Dr. Tim Flannery, has said that Minke’s are about as brainy as sheep and multiplying like rabbits. So, is a lamb eater on any moral higher ground than the Moby burger muncher?

The vegan pirates of Sea Shepherd can have the high ground, and good luck to them. The rest of us, it seems to me, have only one very shaky argument against a sustainable hunt;

That methods of hunting whales are so particularly cruel as to put them beyond the pail. The dodgy assumption then being that the methods of raising and harvesting our meat, eggs & dairy are all within the pail… Pigs & chooks in concentration camps, production line abattoirs, stinking transports between the two.

What's the difference in the end?

We're not interested in eating whalemeat and abattoirs don't get shown on tele...

Technorati Tags     ethics,whaling,hypocracy

WWPG83D?

What would firebrand rock god, Peter Garrett circa1983 do, were he shown a vision, twenty-five years hence of 2008 Peter Garrett MP & Minister?  I shudder to think but would imagine it be bloody...

1983 Pete reacts badly to vision of,




2008 Pete, Minister of the Environment (with responsibility for rubberstamping grandoise nightmares from the States, eradicating plastic bags, perhaps doing Penny Wong's filing, & err, nowt else)

Technorati Tags     peter,politics,garrett

Boarking summer program: #1 Never seemed to have much luck...

Based on a true story, the "I never seemed to have much luck with girls" graphic novella appeared in the cult English indiepop fanzine "Two pint take home. Rumour has it that it's written and badly drawn by a very young Ernst U. Boarking.

True facts:
#1 The names on the list are all singers in '80's New Wave and Indiepop bands, except Gertrude (of course) and Edwina Currie who was a Tory government minister.
#2 One of the phone numbers was real! (Amelia from Talulah Gosh)
#3 The original draft had Angel Babe in the last panel saying "Fuck off!" but the publishers, aware that their Mums would read it, watered it down to "No."

Simple New Year resolutions

For Boarking, one simple sentence, two very difficult resolutions:

 

Less alcohol, more nookie.

 

I only came up with the idea on the 2nd, those who were with me at midnight on NYE would vouch that I was in no state to consider resolutions then, or indeed put together coherent thoughts regarding basic motor functions, nevermind any higher order conceptual thinking.  However, since the 2nd, we've had good success on the first part of the resolution, though of course none on the second...

But fair play, it's not even weekend yet.

 

The nookie rules:

 

A partner should be a consenting adult not receiving direct financial payment for their service.

 

A partner should preferably be human, female & possessing some attractive qualities.  However, if the months pass with little success, Boarking may relax some or all of these requirements.

 

The alcohol strategy:

 

No rules, no real target, merely a strategy of DIY hypno-therapy, a silent mantra along the lines of, "I'm so over alcohol."  Say it a lot, cycling along or whatever.  Say it when you don't feel it.  I've no idea if it will work but it's doing alright in it's early stages.

Mind, it's not even weekend yet.

 

I've no nookie strategy, one option could be joining a weirdy big bonking free loving religious sect like the Children of God, hard for an atheist though.  Maybe a silent mantra for this too: "I'm so sexy boy!"  I might get the giggles though.

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Post-Saturday-Night-Update:

The above was written last week but not posted due to technical difficulties.  This means I can now comment post the first weekend test.

Partial success on point one, best described as "bit less tipsy than usual" though I did stack my pushbike on the way home.

Some progress perhaps on point two, to wit a phone number freely given without the relaxing of any requirements.  Still, best not count a chicken when we're just looking at an egg!

Technorati Tags     alcohol,resolutions,new-years,nookie